In the Light

When speaking to survivors of Child Sex Abuse,whether speaking to close friends or people recently met, one topic that always comes up is “Forgiveness.” Forgiveness is hard enough to grant within our everyday lives, however when an act of violation such as sexual abuse is committed it heightens the possibility of un-forgiveness. Though it may sound a bit cliched the truth is not forgiving causes more harm to the person harboring the anger and pain than their viloator. The real question is HOW do you forgive after such an act has been committed, we know that it is beneficial to the healing process but HOW? the article below speaks of  techniques you can use to move towards forgiveness, namely writing a letter to your abuser. Now, I will be honest, I have yet to do this in my case, though I have used this technique in other situations. It proved to be helpful in my past situations and I don’t doubt it’s helpfullness here. Once I write my letter, I will update you all on how helpful I think it was for my healing progress. Keep in mind that every technique is just a suggestion, but can be very helpful to those who follow through and try these different techniques. If you all have any suggestions regarding techniques and helpful tips please feel free to comment!

http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/adult-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-abuse-faq.htm

There is an interesting discussion taking place on the Discussing Dissociation blog.

It revolves around the questions:

• What kinds of things do you wish your parents had been able to do that would have protected you from sexual abuse?
• What kinds of things would have helped prevent your being abused by people outside of the home?
• If you were abused within the home, what would have helped you to get help from safe people outside of the home?
• If you were to pass your words of wisdom to parents that are truly invested in keeping their children safe from sexual predators, what would you say to them?

If you have a few moments, answer the questions and post it in the comment section on their blog. Feel free to add them here also.

We’ve come across this question a couple of times. And personally, it’s something I’m still exploring. The question is whether complete faces have to be shown or can we use art instead. It’s a very valid concern and it’s something that I asked myself when I first thought of this book. Will I really want my face out there for the world to see and to associate with child sex abuse? What will people think of me? How will it make my family feel?

After a couple of screams, lol, I asked myself these questions again. And it turns out that yes, this is something that I am willing to do and something I’ve gotten comfortable with. I realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of and that I didn’t do anything wrong. This is my chance to help someone else realize those same things.

The photographs are a critical part of this project. One of the things that I remember the most is how alone I felt in the beginning. I felt like this had never happened to anyone else. Eventually, I came across a few books. One of the things that stood out to me was that even though many women shared their stories, there were no photographs and a lot of the women chose to remain anonymous.

Every time I open a magazine and or turn on television, and see Oprah, I feel an amazing connection. It reminds me that this is something that happened to me and it doesn’t define who I am. It reminds me that I’m not alone and that I can still accomplish great things regardless of it. That’s what sets this book apart from most. It’s a book about survivors, how they survived and how they are now thriving.

So please, join us on what is proving to be an amazing journey. Help us get rid of the shame that is associated with child sex abuse and the feelings of guilt.

*Read the article in People Magazine where Tom Arnold opens up about being sexually abused as a child.